Tuesday, July 18, 2006

"It's a Shame -- All These Vaginas Wasted on Other Vaginas."

That was one of two lines I heard come from Dr. Christian Troy on the "Nip/Tuck" shoot I did yesterday. I played a lipstick lesbian. I'm in the background. You may never see my face, my arm, or my hair. The important things are that it paid, and I had fun.

Here are the big lessons I learned:

1. Bring less clothes. I brought a huge selection of clothing and shoes that fit the color palette, and I wore one outfit. They wound up letting me wear my bronze silk shirt (that I pulled out of the dry cleaning pile the night before). They provided me with a size 2 suit that they had to pin on because it was loose, witch shoes that got lots of compliments but had pointy toes and cramped the hell out of my feet, and big dangly earrings that I would never wear in day-to-day life. I wound up hauling my suitcase around, not wearing a thing I toted along until the shoot was over and I needed something cooler to wear home. Next time I do something like this, I'll jam two outfits into a backpack or a duffle bag and wear the third. If they want more of a selection, they can provide it themselves.

2. Doing homework is good. As soon as I found out I booked the show, I rented the first DVD of the series. I wanted to know what the hell was going on instead of showing up and saying "Who is Martina McBride?" or "What's an Omarion?" I didn't feel like a completely ignorant asshole who didn't care enough about my career to do a little research because I spent the $4 and three hours to find out something about the show.

3. Taking comics = w00+! I'd like to be more awake next time I read an issue of Civil War. This makes three issues I've read on set while tired. The great thing about comics is they're not as wordy or involved as True and False by David Mamet. (It's a good book, just tough to read on set.)

4. A Southern accent can buy dinner. I approached the catering guys after everyone had eaten lunch and asked if I could have them wrap up a piece of chicken for me so I could take it home for dinner. Then I turned on the accent so they'd think I was so cute. Yeah, I got free chicken, creamed spinach and asparagus. I was then told to hit up the fellow at the barbecue for some steak. I waddled over and batted my eyelashes, spoke like a Southern girl, and walked home with enough food for me, Andrew and the dogs.

5. Take salt and potassium. I lost so much water sitting out in the heat and humidity yesterday that I came home with a headache. I took some salt and potassium when I got home, but I really needed to take them as a preventative as soon as I started sweating. That would've saved me hours of discomfort after the shoot.

6. Get a damn sticky lint roller for puppy hair. Felicity thought it would be fun to help me pack, so she crawled into my suitcase full of clothes to gaze lovingly at me while I tried to pick out the right three pairs of shoes to take. Thusly, my dark clothes (everything in the suitcase) were sprinkled with little white puppy hairs. I need to remember I have a dog from time to time.

7. Get the most flattering clothes tailored to make them even more flattering. Since I lost weight, a lot of my great clothes don't fit anymore. My size 4 suit falls off my body, my leather pants sag, and all of my skirts that used to fit at my waist are now low-rise. Since my clothes were so loose, they put me in a size 2 suit and pinned the waist so it would fit. I should probably take my clothes to the tailor so I can wear my own stuff.

Anyway, I had a fun day and I was there less than eight hours. This is the picture of me waiting for mealtime. Look at that crazy hippy hair! It matches my bronze top.

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