Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Secret to Men

Men are very simple -- even men would agree with that statement. They require food, entertainment and sex. As examples, pasta falls under food, video games fall under entertainment, and sex falls under sex. You can even find hybrids, like the sextertainment of flashy lingerie and high heels or the foodertainment of Medieval Times. Women can use these buttons to communicate with men and get what they want.

The simplest secret, I've learned, is lip gloss. It draws attention to the mouth (food/entertainment/sex), is sparkly and hypnotic (sextertainment). When I need directions, assistance or a favor, I'll put on lip gloss first. It works almost every time. It's just enough flirt to get a product.

My small sister tested this theory after I told her. She slathered on the lip gloss to get directions at U of A from college boys. She got the waiter to bring our long overdue check just by applying lip gloss. In fact, lip gloss is so effective that some random guy was mesmerized by her and hit on her at the Waffle House in Morrilton right after applying lip gloss. Too bad she didn't use her power to ask for him to pay our tab or just hand over his wallet.

Lip gloss, ladies -- use it and exercise your powers.

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