Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Unhappy Ending

I've been away from the blogosphere for a couple days due to a neck injury. I awoke Monday morning with a horribly stiff neck, and I've been doing everything possible to lope into work everyday to handle whatever urgent task awaits my aching body. It feels a lot like whiplash, but I haven't determined exactly what caused it yet.

When I have muscle pains, I have certain remedies I try. I'll take cal mag if I know I'll be someplace where the diarrhea I tend to get won't be as inconvenient. I use arnica gel, Tiger Balm, heating pads and ice packs. When it's really bad, I shell out the cash for a massage. Monday night I was in great pain so I had Andrew take me to the nearby Korean day spa for a massage.

I've been to this spa before to use the saunas and hot tubs. They even have a hot tub full of tea and herbs. I didn't feel like I could make it to the Valley or afford to pay for another awesome deep tissue massage, so this place seemed like a good decision. I bought a neck, shoulder and back massage for $40. I'd be massaged in the ladies' spa space where naked women are laid out on about eight to ten tables, all getting spa treatments, scrubs or massages.

The massage was a bad idea. They don't speak a lot of English, it seems. I told the clerk I'd buy if they had a table with the little headrest. Yeah, they didn't have one. The gal had me lie face down on the table with my head to one side -- not the best thing for a sore neck. She covered my head with a towel and squirted so much oil from my butt cheeks north that I thought I was going to slide onto the floor. She gave me a very vigorous massage, paying little attention to my neck. It was more like a back & shoulder massage. After feeling like I'd been attacked with a rolling pin, I was told to turn over. 'Oh,' I thought, 'this must be how she's going to handle my neck. She covered my head with a towel and draped another towel over my waxident. Once again, I was hosed with oil, but not just on my neck. She would work on my arms, my back, my boobs, my stomach, my boobs, my hands, my boobs, my boobs. It wasn't creepy, just odd and vigorous. I didn't know if she was trying to help my pectoral muscles relax or if she was trying to slap the girls into paying attention. It was so strange. I figure that's just the way they do it at the Korean spas.

My neck still hurt after the massage. Makes sense since it was a boobs, shoulder & back massage. I don't think I'll be returning for another massage. I guess I can just chalk this one up to experience. Yikes.


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