Wednesday, July 29, 2009

"The Incident"

Something happened Monday that will hereinafter be referred to as "The Incident." Monday was the second night of the Tarantino burlesque tribute show. It was a wardrobe malfunction of note.

We end the show with a tribute to Reservoir Dogs. You can see me here as Mr. Blond talking into a bloody ear. Andrew plays the cop. When I took over the role as last year's Mr. Blond was unavailable, I insisted on having lots of blood. I wear a wife beater and boxer shorts so I can easily throw out my bloody clothes if necessary. I peel off the wife beater right before I get shot at the end of the number. Then I pull out a blood pack and smear blood all over myself as I die.

Let me back up. I choreographed the number so I would take off the wife beater before being shot. I forgot to take off the wife beater last week so I peeled it up to reveal my pasties as I bled to death. This week I remembered to take off the wife beater. It's covered in blood, as you can see in the photo, as a result of writhing around creepily in the blood on the cop. The blood is sticky, and I'm very dedicated to my craft so I really rub my boobs and butt on that blood as best I can. In addition, my pasties are glitter-covered buckram, very cheaply made so they'd be easy to throw away if they're trashed from the blood. That glitter is easily caught in the weave of the wife beater.

I moved upstage of where I was going to peel off the wife beater so it would make better photos. I get the wife beater over my head to my elbows, I look down and I notice my right pastie is gone. I had a sense it would happen on one side as I started to peel my top, particularly because I applied them with garment tape. (I ran out of my regular pastie tape and didn't have time for spirit gum in the change from Pulp Fiction to this number.) Okay, one gone. I can cover that side and finish handling the last prop of the number before dying. I look to the left and see that one has popped off while I was checking the right side.

I'm going to digress, kind of. We know from my posts that I go to the nude beach when I get the chance. I'm comfortable naked. I don't believe all nudity is sexual but I know there are places where it is and isn't appropriate. I'm also hopelessly devoted to Andrew. I don't do burlesque because I have daddy issues or need attention or validation for my body. I do it because I'm good at it, it's fun and I get great opportunities to be creative. I don't care if the audience sees my actual nipples onstage, but I do care about following the rules of the venue. I don't want to shit where I eat, if you know what I mean.

So back to me, sticky wife beater on the floor and both pasties missing while I face upstage with one prop left to manipulate and an impending death. It seemed like a lifetime passed but it was probably a couple seconds. One arm crossed my chest and I finished the number, fumbling with my last prop because I didn't want to cause any problems for the venue or the producer by moving my arm. I got shot, fell on the floor, rolled to my side so I could get out my blood pack, and rubbed blood all over my nipples and stomach. The arm went right back across my chest for the rest of the number.

I've been told by teachers that no one notices when you lose a pastie. I think that's true in few cases. I think that's something they say so students aren't totally freaked out about performing, frozen by the idea of losing a pastie. When you lose two pasties, everyone notices. Even when the nipples are covered quickly, they notice. The missing pasties are the elephant in the room; the only difference is that everyone talks about it.

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Case of Crabs

Last year I was introduced to Joe's Crab Shack in San Diego. A few blocks behind San Diego Convention Center, Joe's is a perfect alternative to overpriced convention food. I had a delicious time there last year, so I dragged Andrew there for lunch last Thursday.

Joe's has four incredible things that I absolutely love, but I only took two photos so you'll have to bear with me. Joe's has crab cakes. I love crab cakes. It's my love of crab cakes that led me to the crab cake sliders this year. It's also that love of crab cakes that kept me from ordering "crachos."

"Crachos" (pronounced crotch-ohs) were given their name by our Comic-Con group last year. We found crab nachos on the menu and they became crachos. Andrew went for the crachos. I finally got to sample them and they were good. I highly recommend the crachos for anyone.

I had two other treats I'd tried last year. Their bananas foster is amazing. Sure, it was the same size and weight as my actual meal. I made as big a dent as I could in it, and Andrew was very little help. The cherry on top was the "shark bite," A.K.A. the vomiting shark drink. It's sugar and booze and a shark that barfs "blood" (grenadine). Our table ordered one last year and passed it around. I had it all to myself this time and was hammered within moments. It's much like sugary toxic waste with paint thinner (vodka). I think I'd like it better without the vodka, but it tastes good anyway.

If you find yourself near a Joe's, follow my food recommendations and get your crab fix.

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Supernova-A-Go-Go in San Diego

We did two performances of the show on Thursday night in San Diego. It was a totally different venue from last year, so we had new and different challenges with this venue. We had two great shows and I learned some new lessons as a performer and producer that will only serve to make me stronger.

This particular venue required us to wear net bras. My costume wasn't built so much for the net bra so I wore a fishnet tube top made from the top of a pair of hose. It worked well enough. This is a photo of my act shot by S.H. Photo.

I haven't decided what to do next year. Maybe I'll do "V" since that series is being remade. I could always bring back the Fifth Element as well.

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Saturday, July 25, 2009

Comic-Con 2009

This was my second year at Comic-Con. Andrew and I spent part of the day there on Thursday before our Thursday night show. It was a whirlwind stop, hitting every major company we could for their free stuff before zipping off to the venue. We did make purchases at one booth. They had these adorable hats. I had to get the sock monkey hat. This is me modeling the hat in the bathroom of a gas station after both evening shows on our drive home around midnight.

This was the first time we had to park for Comic-Con. Last year I rode with a bunch of girls and we had a nearby hotel. This year we found a discount lot for $20 that was just over a mile from the Con. Our parking pass was only good for nine hours, so we had to move to an $8 lot before our evening show.

We really should get our own passes for the show and not just take advantage of the time slots for the ones we get as part of the show. Next year I'd like to hit a panel or two, stay longer, and have the money to buy more stuff.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Live Shopping Now!

For ease in selling my handcrafted showgirl goods to pay for my trip to New Orleans, I've opened up an Etsy store online. There are only two items listed right now but I wanted to put something out there since I now have a way to post photos again. I do have additional products to list after my trip to Comic-Con this weekend. I have two additional pairs of the leopard heart pasties that I'll list after the first pair sells. Stop by and make a purchase today so I'm forced to post more stock on the weekend!


Sunday, July 19, 2009

My Kingdom for a Camera

We bought a photo memory card reader for the camera that broke. The problem with the camera is that you can shoot photos but you can't look at them or retrieve them because the switch is broken. In a genius move, Andrew found a reader at Wal Mart for $9. We love Wal Mart. This means you can finally see photos from the World's Smallest Renn Faire! At the top of this entry, you'll see the ladies of Theatre Unleashed in the finest Renn Faire garb Pinkfouffy has to offer.
Then we have Andrew and his kilt. He made the kilt himself for this event. I just helped him with the pleats. He also made the shirt, which he discovered to be rather warm for early summer in So Cal. You can see t-shirts by artist extraordinaire Sebastian Kadlecik. (He does my handdrawn art and designed my t-shirt stencil - one of my favorite people.)
Next up are the dragon puppets Andrew and I made for the vending area at the faire. We designed the event to be kid-friendly, so we thought we should have some souvenirs just for the kids. They're modeled after the puppets we made for "Crocodile Rock" in December.
Then we have Andrew and Phil, AKA Mr. Snapper and Mr. Buddy, performing a vaudeville act designed just for this event. I love how Phil's kilt is some bright red bedsheet.
And lastly, there's me after a long day of working the door. We had face painting available, so I had them paint a fairy on my chest. I was glowing with sweat from the hot summer day.

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Doom and Gloom

My posts for the past couple months have often been downers. I've moaned and groaned about my job situation and my traffic ticket, bitching about my co-pay incident. I find myself doing a lot of work in my home office. Most of it doesn't pay, but it's good work. So today I'll talk about the good things in my life instead of bitching.
  • I got into New Orleans Burlesque Fest to perform at House of Blues. Still working on making money to go, but I'm very excited about the opportunity to perform somewhere new.
  • On a related note, I've been busy crafting pasties to sell to help offset my cost. I'll post photos online as soon as I can figure out a camera. (My awesome camera broke in May, so I have to find something that will take better pics than my phone.)
  • I'm going to be published on a dating advice website for men, and I'm going to be paid for my article. I'm working on more articles for them in hopes that I can teach men what they need to know and make money at it.
  • Piper just turned twelve. Holly passed away not long after she turned eleven, so we're delighted that Piper is a happy old dog (even if she smells). She jaunts around the yard and barks at the neighborhood still.
  • I'm plugging along at my burlesque website so that I can put it up readily when I have a job to pay for it. I've gotten some great endorsements from producers and fellow performers that I can put on that website to market myself. I'm so flattered by the endorsements I've gotten.
  • My short play, "@twitts," is going to be produced by Theatre Unleashed in coffee shops late this summer. I'm excited about that.
  • I'm finally cleaning my house! My life was so busy before that I didn't have time to do all the cleaning I should have. It's going to be easier for me to stay productive when I have a new job with a clean house.
Things are still good even though I need to make more cash. I've enjoyed the time at home.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Button Button

My last PayPal button didn't work properly. If you'd like to make a general donation to my New Orleans Burlesque Fest fund, you can do so below. Watch for pasties and hair flowers for sale in the next few days.

A Family That Plays Together

I really lucked out. I couldn't have found a more perfect match.

Andrew and I are performing separately as part of Supernova a-Go-Go in San Diego for Comic-Con weekend. I'm Leeloo, AKA the 5th Element. My costume is mostly bondage tape. He's Han Solo (obviously). We don't really interact during the show, but we did during the photo shoot.

This would be a perfect Christmas card if only the two dogs were in the photo.

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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Co-pay Woe Pay

I started having horrible pain in my neck and shoulder on Sunday. After some investigation, I discovered my chiropractor would accept my insurance. This was great news because I could afford a $10 to $12 co-pay but not a regular cash visit. I scheduled my appointment for early Wednesday morning when my doctor was in.

When I set my appointment, I explained that I finally have insurance. I gave them all the numbers off my card to verify my benefits. When I got to the office, they explained to me how much my insurance would cover over a year. I had a great visit with my doctor and felt significantly better at the end.

I went to the counter to take care of my co-pay and I was told the visit was $55. That's $10 more than I paid per cash visit last year, and it's $43 more than I expected to pay since I have insurance. I asked the girl behind the desk why it was so much since I have insurance. (She wasn't the one who explained my benefits.) She looked confused then asked me to pay it so that I'm covered when they have my insurance verified by Monday. She said they'd apply the balance to my account if I overpaid or collect more if I underpaid. (I don't know how $55 for a $45 office visit could be underpaying.)

I really like my doctor. I drive out of the way to see him. However, his staff disappoints most of the time. His staff would be the reason I would change providers, which could just happen if I'm asked for another $55 on Monday.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Website in the Works

I've had some down time at home lately, so I've been spending it thinking about my upcoming Red Snapper website. I didn't know much about how to put up a website or what to put on it until yesterday. I'm still working out exactly how I want to lay it out and specific content.

I had a website before, a website for me and Andrew and the dogs. I signed up with a service that had prefab templates and would host for $20 a month. I thought it would be good for both of us as artist (acting and writing), but we also had the personal aspect of the dogs. It was too confusing, more difficult to update than I hoped, and expensive with no return on investment.

After that experience, I decided to learn more about websites. I'm scratching out what I need in place so I can have a store to sell apparel, hair flowers and pasties. I'm hunting for endorsements of my product as a dancer. I'm deciding on what content will be static and what content will change regularly. My plan is to have all my website ducks in a row so that when I can pay for the site, all the necessary decisions have been made and they just need to be implemented.


Sunday, July 05, 2009

Big Easy

I've been accepted to perform at the New Orleans Burlesque Fest in September. I'm very excited to bring Red Snapper burlesque to a new city, and I'm also excited to go to New Orleans for the first time ever. (I grew up a few hours from Louisiana but I've never even been to Louisiana.) What's even better is that I'm performing in the late show on September 12th at the House of Blues. Holy shit! John Mayer has performed on that stage!

I submitted a number I put together for Memorial Day - Rosie the Riveter. It's cute and short. The photo to the left was shot by Dan Hendricks. I was going to submit a different number, but the technical aspects of that number (clothing made entirely of paper) were a little too complicated to risk. I'll be working the number the rest of the summer, a nice blend of classic striptease and cutesy comedy.

There's one little bugger in my big plan to dance in New Orleans: money. With that stupid traffic ticket and my questionable employment status at present, I have to generate a lot of dough to make it to New Orleans in September. The plane ticket is around $400 (about the same as flying to Boston). The hotel is $89 a night plus taxes and fees. I'm waiting to find out how much I'll have to pay for the rest of the events that weekend. And I'll have to eat and pick up another shot glass for my collection. (Andrew and I started collecting shot glasses years ago because they take up less space than coffee cups.)

I'm selling custom pasties and sparkly hair flowers to help cover my costs. I'll post photos over the next few days of what I'm selling and how much. Every item is under $20. If you know someone in the market for some showgirl accessories, send them to my blog. Of course, if you just want to throw a fistful of virtual dollars at me to help with my cause (because you find me amusing or cute or something), you can go here:

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Thursday, July 02, 2009

$436 Screw

A little over a week ago, I went to a party a friend held to introduce people to her new skin care business. The Mapquest directions were a little tricky, but I made it there okay. Of course, I turned right at a red light from La Brea onto Rodeo. That was my fatal mistake.

This morning I got a citation in the mail for running the red light while making a right turn. I was able to view the footage online. Guilty. Of course, there were two cars that turned left on the red light (far more dangerous). Would you believe that the city has focused on ticketing people for right turns at red lights because it's easier to prove? Why bother putting the attention on the more dangerous traffic violations, like running straight through the red light or turning left on a red? There's a hideous photo of me behind the wheel on the ticket. I figured I would just pay the ticket, expecting it to be $60 or $80 since no one was crossing the street and no cars were coming.

Nope. $436. To appeal it, I have to pay the $436 first. Once they get their blood money, they're not going to care about my defense. I suspect they raised the fine for the right turns because they were easier to prove in court and because the city could make a crapload of money off the fines. A friend includes notes with her fine payments telling the city which pothole she'd like to have filled with her money.

I know my note wouldn't be nearly that cordial.