Monday, January 18, 2010

Breaking Up

I was talking with someone at work today and was reminded about my resolve.  Half a lifetime ago, I nearly dated this guy.  We were friends who almost went out once but the plans fell through and he became involved with his ex-girlfriend again.  I didn't give the "relationship" more than an afternoon of waiting for him to show up for our one date that didn't happen.  I wasn't worried about it.

Four months later, he tries to reconnect with me on a romantic level.  We were just friends at that point, and I wasn't interested.  I liked someone else.  I thought he was kidding when he pursued me and I laughed in his face.  We were friends so this was a joke, right?  That's when I found out he was serious.  How was I going to work this one out?  I liked him as a friend but we weren't meant to be at all or it would've happened already.  How could I say that without laughing in his face again?  Besides, his relationship with his ex-girlfriend was strong enough that they'd gotten back together once already.

I told him I was seeing someone else.  I lied to his face.  I liked someone else, and technically we were seeing each other (i.e., I would go see him wherever he was and just hang out and talk).  But I wasn't dating this guy at all.  I figured it was an easier way to let him down.  Telling him I was seeing someone else ended the communication on the subject.  If I told him the truth, that I wasn't really interested and we weren't meant to be and he'd probably get back with his ex at some point anyway, he would've tried to talk me into changing my mind.  Or worse, he would've asked me why.  I didn't feel I should have to explain myself or justify why I wasn't going to go out with him.  It seemed the truth wouldn't have ended it for him, and I was over it.  I'd moved on.  I've got some serious resolve.

Wow.  That was a tangent.


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