Sunday, October 31, 2010

Shelter From the Storm

This year has been insane with life changes. It reminds me of February 2006 and all its craziness. Of course, something good always come of it.

We're still getting used to having one dog. I think Felicity looks for Pipey outside our yard at times. We keep looking for a new dog that will fit our family. We even brought home a pup, but she was so nervous that she made Felicity tremble. Andrew said she had nervous quivers on the ride home & she had nervous poops when we were in line at the pet store getting her a collar. It was a bad sign that she collapsed on the dirt outside the pet store and refused to move. We took her back and continue our search.

I had a couple wisdom teeth removed three weeks ago. I went to USC dental school and they did a great job. Of course, my jaw is still sore at times when I eat bread. I should return in late winter to get the other two removed.

I'm leaving the theatre company I helped found, the one I urged Andrew to start after our past experience in a theatre company. I've already stepped down from management. I think the company could thrive if it dropped dues and pushed for personal responsibility. Andrew wrote up an entire plan to do away with dues and get more aggressive with fundraising, and the other executives didn't feel its discussion was a priority. The last two executive meetings I attended felt like interventions with more finger pointing and yelling than I need in my life right now. I care greatly about the members, but we already established that I'm not going to donate my time, money and energies to be yelled at and punished for not being "involved enough." I hope our departure beings about some positive changes for them.

I'm taking a couple college classes. I'm doing okay in my law & media class with the ol' grades, but I'm learning a lot from the book and the guest speakers (entertainment lawyers). I'm also taking a dance history and appreciation class, which is filling in gaps in my understanding of the evolution of dance. It's been great.

With the big changes this year, I'm able to stay grounded because of my career and my home life. It's a blessing to be able to dance and teach - doing something I love and getting paid for it. And my little cave of seclusion with Andrew and Felicity helps keep me on track. I have some great friends and family who support my choices, and I'm grateful.

Now, it's about time for something really awesome to happen.

I'm waiting. :)

Monday, October 04, 2010

So Long, Old Friend

It's taken me two weeks to recover enough to blog about this.  The Friday night I was dancing in New Orleans, Piper passed.  I was out of town so my grieving process was delayed.  When I returned home, I hit the ground running with work, school and teaching.

Piper was a total ploy.  Holly was three, a girl I worked with had dalmatian puppies, and I decided Holly needed a playmate.  (Holly tore a path of destruction through our lives as an only dog, destroying boots, videotapes, leather jackets, etc.)  And, in truth, I thought Andrew deserved his own dog.  So I spent weeks convincing him to just go look at the puppies with me, and I eventually sold him on buying one.  He rolled with the stinky puppies like a five year-old, and I selected Piper.  We brought her home and she and Holly bonded quickly.  Holly was smart and cranky, Piper was dumb and happy.

When Holly passed, Piper didn't seem lonely.  We brought Felicity home the day after Holly died, and Piper was very accepting.  Felicity would coerce her into making games.  They slept on each other and groomed one another.  As Piper got older, Felicity would let her sleep and went about her own business.  But she has a lot of lonely moments now that Piper is gone and I haven't found the right pup to add to our pack.

Piper started having physical problems a few years ago.  Her hips were messed up, she had skin issues, she had trouble with her ears.  She had more good days than bad days, but she slipped while running into the kitchen for treats more times than she successfully jumped through a hoop.  We knew we were wearing out another dog, and we were glad we didn't have to have her put down.

The grieving process has been strange for me.  Piper was very much Andrew's dog, but I spent a lot of time with her when my employment changed last summer.  She would curl up by my feet under the desk while I trolled the Internet for work.  She got used to having me around for the 10:30am stretch in the yard.  When I got work, she'd bark when I got home before Felicity woke up, and she usually got an extra minute or two in the yard before we were joined by Felicity.  It's the change of routine that chokes me up.  She was always there, even if she was underfoot.  I'm hoping that tomorrow will be the first Tuesday since it happened that I won't have a breakdown in my living room between work and school.

But we cope.  And we deal.  And I keep hunting for a mixed breed pup that will fit in with us, even if Andrew isn't ready yet.