Thursday, March 08, 2012

Religion and Me

“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.” - Han Solo

My mom was a good Catholic, my dad was a naughty young man, so we weren't the best attendees at our local churches.  I did go to vacation bible camp when I was nine or ten because I could stop by Hardee's and get Chipmunks soda glasses on the way home; I won a prize at camp for Best Worship because I swayed to sell that I was totally worshipping.  I studied the bible a little before college.  I went to a Presbyterian college (even thought I was never associated with that sect otherwise) where religion and humanties were amongst my studies.  I did some time in a cult.  I started a theatre company.  I married a preacher's kid.  I've experienced a good sampling of what's out there.

I grew up in the South, where Christianity is almost as popular as high school football.  My mother's very religious, and my in-laws are very connected to their churches.  The right thing to do would just be to "have faith" and follow the families' beliefs, right?

I had faith in a cult that claimed to be logical.  That was a bunch of lies.

I'm okay with people saying things over their food so they feel good about eating it, or believing in whatever gives them comfort so they can get up and face each day.  Some folks seem to regard god as a genie who will juice them with bounty if they rub their hands on his lamp in prayer just right.  Others use god as a scapegoat for their poor life choices, saying it was His plan.  And still others think of god as a pillow to cry into when things go wrong.  Whatever makes them happy and doesn't harm other people, rock on.  We should follow Bill & Ted's advice and be excellent to each other.

My Facebook religion is listed as John Mayer.  Dude never disappoints me with his concerts, and they're always a very spiritual experience for me.  I guess it's like gospel church for other people.  This is where I really would earn Best Worship if he was giving away a prize.  Front row tickets would be nice, John.

In all truth, though, I don't turn to John Mayer for the things most people associate with god and religion.  I have some very wonderful people in my life who lend an ear, incredible friends and collaborators who give recommendations when I have personal and professional quandries.  But who holds that god position in my life: the one whose comfort I seek when the world doesn't seem to be on my side, the one I always blast with good news as soon as I get it, my final authority when I seek counsel, the one who is good and necessary?

Andrew Moore.

He's my constant, my religion, my rock.  He's not going to try to feed me bullshit to make me feel better.  He's not going to intentionally steer me wrong.  I don't have to have faith in him because I trust him.

Feel free to pray for my soul or whatever, if that comforts you.  Just don't try to convert me to believe in something instead of Andrew Moore because you will lose.  Hands down.

"Ooh, it must be magic
How inside your eyes, I see my destiny
Every time we kiss, I feel you
Breathe your love so deep inside of me

"If the moon and stars should fall
They'd be easy to replace
I would lift you up to Heaven
And you would take their place

- "I Saw Red," Warrant